Heh….. I haven’t been updating my blog as often as before… Saying that I had been busy is an excuse… Truth is, I had been lazy… LOL… While I absolutely despise laziness at the work place, I can’t say the same when I am at home.. Kekeke… It’s like saying I had slogged at work (well, I think I am!) so I can choose to be lazy at home… I know, it’s lame :)
One of my biggest, or you can say, main after-work activities is to surf the web for useful and useless news/information just to keep myself sufficiently up to date as well as watch some online movies/drama series! Seriously, what else is there to do? Sure, I can read a book but not everyday… I can bake or cook but for whom? The hubby can’t possibly consume that much otherwise I’ll be breeding a Hippo at home..
Anyways, I’d been watching this Korean drama series called “A Gentleman’s Dignity”, which is currently showing in Korea. The title does not seem to have a correlation to the gist of the drama. What is considered a gentleman’s dignity ah? It’s also strange on why I had caught on to this drama series, since I am not a fan of Korean shows. Was it the cool and handsome Jang Dong Gun? He’s definitely looking much more chiselled and charming.. His face wasn’t that sharp and lean before… Well, you’d never know the “works” he had done right? :p
In a nutshell, the series is about four 40-something years old guys who had known each other since school days and their respective love (or lack of) lives. Generally, it is a rom-com and parts of the show had got me laughing…
Since they are 40-something years old, their perspective of love is also different unlike when they were in their 20s, where they would have much time to “explore” around. In a recent episode, one of the characters was trying to dissuade his 24 years old sister from her one-sided “love” for his buddy citing reasons that their age difference is 17 years old. When the sister sobbingly proclaimed that she can’t live without him, the brother retorted back that it doesn’t mean his buddy can’t live without her too. He went on to explain that his buddy, given that he’s 41 years old, would have different priorities in life instead of just love, and the people who would matter to him would be him (i.e. the girl’s brother) and his friends… wah, serious ah?
What he had said had got me thinking as well… In a few years time, I would have also hit the big 4-0…..
Would I be experiencing some sort of mid-life crisis by then? Does this so-call mid-life crisis come naturally or is it conjured up by the individual just because he had hit the next phase (after a decade) in life so therefore must start feeling that way?
I refused to be defeated by that sort of feeling. Self reflection can happen at any age and time instead of after every decade in life. I know of some people who feels depressed and confused, and lost cos they feel they have not achieved much in life after they had hit 30 or 40 and so on, and not sure what to do next…
From an objective perspective, I can only advised the person to be honest with himself/herself and asked what is it that they want to achieve and what is that are making them unhappy? I would ask myself the same questions too…. Was it high pay or job designation? Be married and have a ton of kids? Can these wishes be achieved? If so, what would you do and how long would you take to achieve them? If it would take forever, do you have the time and patience to pursue them?
If circumstances, whatever they are, had prevented us from pursuing and achieving what we want, then we have to come to terms with this fact instead of being constantly unhappy or depressed about it. Things don’t fall into one’s lap so easily so it is pointless to simply be so negative just because we don’t get what we want. So what, if others seem to be doing better? Envy or jealousy would only add fuel to the unhappiness. Life is short. Is it worth living in constant unhappiness?
Peer comparison is the worst thing. Yes, I have peers who are doing well in life. They are holding high positions and drawing a good pay. They might have worked super hard or smart to reach where they are today or could just be plain lucky, who knows. But that’s them. I have my own life and I know my capability and capacity.
I’d used to lament on why others seem to be doing better than me to the point where sometimes I’d actually believe the stars are against me, that sort of thing. It’s easy to just be pissed about it than to actually putting in the effort to achieve what they have. But sometimes, that would also mean compromising certain things in life, like quality time with your loved ones, personal time to do whatever you like etc… Yeah, there’s always a flipside to things…
I believe most of one’s unhappiness and disgruntled feelings in life stems from this comparison. Even if you’d know you would be contented but the moment you start to compare, that contentment would cease to exist.
The point is, you’d either strive to achieve whatever that you are not getting which is making you unhappy so quit whining or wallowing in your own self-created pool of pity… Or just be contented and happy with what you got… I hope my friends out there and myself would bear that in mind when we turned 40, 50, 60 and so on…